3...2…1…Happy New Year! As any good non-serious blogger must
do, I will revamp my blog for one last go around. Mind you it is New Year’s and
I’m not in the best sense of mind. Many are contemplating their successes and
failures over the past year and the changes they are hoping for next year. I’m
not going to be much different.
I feel as if this year I grew up in a very different way.
Suddenly, I was frustrated by environmental issues, love problems, and how this
whole society functions. My struggles with religion and its place in the world
have spiraled into a hatred that is hard to shake. My hopes have been snatched
from me and my dreams replaced with dim glimmers of hope. This year I learned
that I don’t want to be the person I thought I did, or the next person I
thought of, or the next. Everything I ever knew about myself fell apart into a
million little pieces on the floor and in an odd way I began picking up those
pieces and reconnecting them into an even more beautiful picture. The heart
that was full of success in mind is now full of wonder. My dreams of having a
large bank account has crumbled into, is college really worth it? I’ve tossed around alternative ideas. Nothing has
seemed to stick. I became a body with no motivation, no dreams, and hopes that
maybe December 21st, 2012 was really the end and none of these silly
thoughts mattered.
The only thing I was sure of all throughout the year was “I needed a change”. That was the problem.
I couldn’t pin-point what that change needed to be. College? Love life? Work? I tried them all. Failure after failure I was graced with the
amazing idea from a friend “MOVE OUT!” And so in late December our newest dream
has begun to take shape. From Montreal, Quebec and Phoenixville, Pennsylvania
we have the aspiration to move to Boston by January 2014. It’s about damn time
too.
Something else that has been filling my heart and mind
lately is finally changing how I look. I was sick and tired of being sick and
tired. Since August I have lost 38 pounds. I’m on my way to the 130’s and I can’t
wait to see where my weight loss journey takes me. It is one of the hardest
obstacles I have ever taken on.
So, although I am ending this year as what feels like a failure,
I have high dreams for 2014. Sure, 2013 will be spent preparing for 2014…but
that’s half the fun. This year I will graduate community college. I will reach
my ultimate goal weight. I’ll finally get the courage to move out. And who knows,
maybe the love gap will fill in on its own.
I owe this year to my amazing family, fantastic friends, and
incredible coworkers. Without them I would have been left on the streets to
fend for myself, which we all know I would never have survived.
Happy New Year, Guys.
Here’s to turning around on our Journey to Regret.
